Yeah, But………

"Yeah, but...." puts the brakes on receiving help

Have you ever found yourself saying these words when someone gives you advice?  You probably have. We all have! Haven’t we? I am guilty of it too. But now I try really hard to catch myself if I feel those words creeping out. Here is why. When we respond with “Yeah, but….” it pretty much puts the brakes on receiving assistance from the person trying to help.

Here is an example:

Question: My parrot screams when I leave the room. How can I get him to stop?

My Response: It is really important to not reinforce the screaming and heavily reinforce another sound that will work to get your attention.

Owner’s Response: Yeah, we have tried that, but it doesn’t work. He just keeps screaming.

My Response: Well, there are a few things that could be going on. You could still be inadvertently reinforcing screaming. Birds are very perceptive to little responses.

Owner’s Response: Yeah, but we are definitely ignoring the screaming. We turn up the TV louder or go over and cover the cage.

My Response: Actually going over to the cage or making any sounds that the bird perceives reinforces the behavior. Everyone in the family needs to be on board and act like they have vanished into thin air the moment the bird screams in order for him to understand screaming doesn’t work to get attention.

Owner’s Response: Yeah, but that is not possible in my house

Many times every solution I offer is countered with a “Yeah, but...” and eventually I am so beaten down I just end up saying “Yup, you are right! It can’t be fixed in your case.”  It is very disheartening especially when you know the problem is fixable and there is pet and household that could really use your assistance. But every time you try to help you are being told no your advice won’t work or doesn’t work or has already been tried.  

Those who do provide professional science based services and information on addressing behavior problems with animals can tell you that the methodologies do work. If they are failing there is usually a problem in the application. Professional consultants are usually excellent detectives at helping uncover where the application is failing. They are going to ask detailed questions about your process. This is where it can be tempting to say “Yeah, but…” This is because most believe they have followed instructions to the letter. But in reality what was described by the consultant, what was heard and what was actually done probably were all somewhat different.  Sometimes it can be difficult to have clear communication. But the good news is we can keep the lines of communication open and continue discussions about important details that will be helpful to both owner and consultant trying to come to the solution to a behavior problem together.

I recently had a phone call with someone having a hard time getting a bird to go back into his enclosure. I asked the person to describe to me how she asked the bird to step up and go back to the cage. The person suddenly got defensive and said “Just the way you told me!” I had to reassure her I was just collecting information so I could help her and that I had only seen her with the bird once and needed more details. Part of her defensiveness was that she was frustrated by the problem she was having with the bird and angry in that moment. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves it really is about getting the problem solved and putting our emotions to the side for a moment.

People who provide information on addressing behavior problems really do want to help. So the next time you find yourself tempted to say “Yeah, but…” ask yourself if maybe some other phrases might be more helpful such as “I think so, but maybe I didn’t apply it correctly” or “I am not sure, can you give me more information?” or “Can you help me understand how I can do that in my situation” You will find the person trying to help you will be even more eager to give you guidance towards a solution. And best of all you will get resolution for that troubling pet behavior problem.

Barbara Heidenreich

www.BarbarasFFAT.com

www.GoodBirdInc.com

Copyright 2015

Barbara Heidenreich has been a professional animal trainer since 1990. Her company Barbara’s Force Free Animal Training (www.BarbarasFFAT.com) provide animal training DVDs, books, webinars and workshops. She has been a featured speaker in over twenty countries and has been published in nine languages. Barbara also consults on animal training in zoos.

Answers for Parrot Behavior Problems

Barbara answering questions about parrot behavior via Skype

Recently Dr Susan Clubb and Terry Timberlake organized a great bash for parrot enthusiasts called The Rainforest Parrot Party. It was held in Florida and well attended by 400 parrot loving people. I was invited to participate too. But due to living 1000+ miles away, I had to attend virtually via Skype.

 

I answered questions about parrot behavior problems submitted by attendees.


I videotaped the entire session so that I could also share it with you!

Topics covered included:

How to create motivation for food treats
What to do if a parrot is bonded to one person and showing aggressive behavior to everyone else
What to do if a parrot tries to bite when you clean the cage
What to do if a parrot bites when being returned to the cage
How to train a parrot to be comfortable with nail trims and towel restraint
What to do about screaming for attention
Training a parrot who will only poop in a basket to poop in his cage.
Do parrots make good pets?
Resources to help address feather damaging behavio

 

You can watch the clip below or here is the YouTube link. http://youtu.be/-6mW-5-wc0k 

 

 

Enjoy! Feel free to share the link with your friends, colleagues or clients. 

Barbara Heidenreich

www.GoodBirdInc.com

www.BarbarasFFAT.com

Copyright 2014

5 Tips to Address Parrot Behavior Problems

Most of the time parrots are a lot of fun. But sometimes they do things humans find annoying. This can include refusing to go back into their cage, biting and screaming for attention. Parrots aren’t hatched with behavior problems. They learn through experience to do certain things to get desired results. For example if a scream causes people to come running into the room, a parrot can quickly learn to vocalize loudly to get attention from his favorite people.

Most parrot behavior problems can be prevented. But if your parrot is already doing something you don’t like, here are some tips to help you change his behavior.

1.      Always remember that parrots do things for a reason. Sometimes it is to get something they want, like your attention. Other times it is to avoid something they don’t want to do. For example a parrot who doesn’t like to be touched may try to nip at a hand that is reaching out to touch his head. Try to figure out why your bird might be presenting behavior you don’t like. This will help you work on a solution.

2. Sometimes changing things up can help get parrot behavior back on track. For example if your parrot is famous for chewing on the wood trim of the house, an easy solution is to move his perch so he isn’t so close to the tempting trim. Or if your parrot likes to dump his food bowls, you can try using a different type of bowl that is easily secured to the cage. Solutions to some problems can be as simple as changing the environment so the bad behavior can’t happen.

3. If your parrot has a choice between two behaviors, he will choose the one that is the most enjoyable. For example if your parrot climbs down his perch to roam around on the floor, it means the floor is much more fun than the play stand. If your goal is for your bird to stay on the perch, it means you need to make the play stand a lot more exciting. This may involve adding new toys frequently, and giving treats and attention when he is on the play stand. Anytime your parrot is not doing what you want ask yourself if you need to make it more fun for him to do what you prefer.

4. A great way to avoid biting problems and trust issues is to never force your parrot to do something he does not want to do. Always make sure your bird is a willing participant. Practice learning to recognize the body language a parrot shows when he is trying to say “No thank you!” When you see this, stop what you are doing. Give yourself a moment to think about a way you can make it fun for your bird to do what you ask. It might mean getting some treats or taking a break and coming back later to interact with your parrot. 

5. The best way to have a well behaved parrot is to train him to do want you want. This means making a list of some things you would like your bird to do. This may include step up, go back into his cage, talk on cue and more. Have training sessions to work on these behaviors so your parrot understands exactly what to do. Once he knows the behaviors, always offer treats, attention, toys or other things he likes whenever he does those behaviors when asked. This will help keep your parrot well behaved for the rest of this life. Remember, your parrot likes to be rewarded for his good behavior just like you do.

Try these tips with your parrot and soon you will find behavior problems are a thing of the past.

Barbara Heidenreich has been a professional animal trainer since 1990. Her company Good Bird Inc (www.GoodBirdInc.com) provides parrot training DVDs, books and workshops. She has been a featured speaker in twenty countries and has been published in nine languages. Barbara also consults on animal training in zoos. 

Barbara Heidenreich

For more information on how to train your parrot visit Good Bird Inc  

Barbara's Force Free Animal Training www.BarbarasFFAT.com

Copyright 2014  First appears in Fledglings Magazine by The Parrot Society of Australia